DFS/DSD #15

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. — 1 Corinthians 13:13 // Y ahora permanecen la fe, la esperanza y el amor, estos tres; pero el mayor de ellos es el amor. — 1 Corintios 13:13

So here I am, writing my 15th Drama Free Sunday. It’s been a tough week. Mentally. When isn’t. Earlier this week I received bad news. I tend to make a huge mountain out of problems, and this is no exception. But this time, one question remainded in my mind, do I have faith? The answer is simple, NO. I am a faithless Christian. But today I found out that that doesn’t exist.  A true, real Christian has 3 things. Faith, hope, and love. I have none. For if I had faith, I wouldn’t stumble. If I had hope, I wouldn’t doubt. If I had love, I wouldn’t feel so alone. It’s a harsh reality but I have to face it. Changes are coming. Giants are rising. Mountains are building. And here I am, on top of my sand castle I created. Trying to grasp onto the tiny microscopic faith I have. Waves are crashing, hail is raining, wind is gushing, and here I am, not letting of my ego. Not letting go of my flesh. Not trusting in the God that created the whole universe. Here I am. Here I am.

Asi que aqui estoy, escribiendo mi diecimo-quinto Doming Sin Drama. A sido una semana dura. Mentalment. Pero cuando no lo es. Al principio de la semana recibi malas noticias. Tengo la tendencia de crear montanas de los problemas, y esta no es una excepcion. Pero esta vez me preguntaba, tengo fe? La respuesta es simple, NO. Soy una Cristiana sin fe. Pero hoy descubri que eso no existe. Un verdadero Critiano tiene 3 cosas, fe, esperanza, y amor. Yo no tengo ninguna. Pues si tuviera fe, no me tropezara. Si tuviera esperanza, no dudaria. Si tubiera amor, no me sentiria tan sola. Es una realidad pero tengo que admitirlo. Cambios viene. Gigantes se levantan. Montanas crecen. Y aqui estoy, arriba de mi castillo de arena. Intentando agarrarme de mi fe microscopica. Las olas golpean, llueve granizo, el viento arrebata, y aqui estoy, sin soltar mi ego. Sin soltar mi carne. No confiando en el Dios que creo el universo. Aqui estoy. Aqui estoy.

Advertisements