Rain : A window to thy soul

On with the second post of Drama-Free Sunday

Well my week has been .. both bad and good. I can’t say my week has been horrible based on one horrible day nor can I say great because I did have a horrible day. My week started okay. Kids are off from school so I watch them until I work at night. (They’re my siblings btw). There’s a free-lunch program in my community this summer so I take them there at 12:30pm. They really like it actually. There’s lots of kids who go there too, a majority is white I’ll say.. Wonder if we have any other raze besides hispanics and whites lol. I like taking them because that’s one less meal to cook, I get to walk, get fresh air, and the kids are happy. So a bunch of birds killed by one meal hehe. It was towards the end of the week I just started feeling blue. Like big time. I don’t know how it started, I just did. I felt so depress, like a whirlhole sucked my soul. I started thinking of what I didn’t have. Of the shots I missed. Of the could’ve and if’s. Everything I’ve thought myself not to do! I have a suicidal history, but I slowly (with the help of God) changed my tendencies and my way of thinking. It wasn’t as strong as I once had but I hadn’t felt that way in a while so it did affect me. Thursday I started feeling droopy. Friday just killed it. I thinking it was Wednesday when it started. Oh yes, on Wednesday I had a fight with my sis and from that point on it began. On friday I started to cool, came to the conclusion that yes, I am not like everyone else, but it doesn’t mean I should live miserably. I should take everyday for what it is, a new begining, a fresh start, a clean slate, because there is no return, no going back. I’m gonna live like that, well I’ll try. To live each day with a different view and not kill myself thinking of what could be but what it is and what it will be.

Man it’s almost 12am, so I had to cut it short… hopefully next time I’m able to finish my thought well LOL.